Question:

In our study on Titus 2:1-10 we talked about how Christian men and women should be living out and preaching the gospel so that all may see the truth, beauty, and goodness of God’s word. I was just wondering in households where Christian gender roles are not practiced (by either the mother/father or both), what encouragement and/or biblical truths can we provide the children in these families as they have never experienced the goodness of Christian gender roles? How can we help them redefine their view and live out what it means to be a Godly man/woman?
e.g. A male who grows up in a non-Christian family with no solid father figure/role model growing up then becomes a Christian, what could you say to them to encourage them/help them break down their preconception and redefine their perspective on male role to align with what is described in Titus 2:1-10?

Response:

Thank you for this question. It is a tough one because we know that living according to God’s design is always best for us, and it is hard when his purposes aren’t followed and fulfilled.

The best encouragement I can give to someone in that position is to keep clinging to God’s Word and allowing our hearts and minds to be transformed by Holy Scripture through the help of the Holy Spirit.

You’ve picked up on something really interesting in your question, namely, that parents play a big role in expressing the Gospel. Because you’re right that Scriptural truths can be learned by reading or observing. Therefore, in the absence of people to observe within the home, it is wise to just keep allowing God’s pattern as it is set out in Scripture to be our norming norm. Saturated yourself in God’s Word and allowing that to determine what you believe to be true.

More than that, I want to encourage you to find godly role models whom you think exemplify the biblical model (to the best of their ability) and humbly ask them to teach you. That is what the church is for! Indeed, Titus 2:1-10 tells us that older men are to teach younger men. And as a younger man, you are invited to seek counsel, advice, and encouragement from older men. This requires a lot of intentionality on your end. Because you will need to actively seek this out.

But this combination of saturation in God’s Word and seeking out godly examples will be helpful as you seek to grow as a godly man. It is a pleasure and privilege to have Christian parents who model Christian living and gender roles. Yet in the absence of that, we still have all we need for life and godliness.

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